Dear Lord,
First, let us give thanks for the day of life and the many blessings we enjoy because of You. Lord, You alone know our hearts. You alone know where we've been and what we've been through. You know our desires and our weaknesses. And You know how to heal us. Many of us have been through things so traumatic, so painful that have taken years for us to come to terms with. We ask Lord, that You take this pain, this hurt, and turn it into the miracle of healing that only You can do. We offer it up to You, because we know that in the end we will be stronger, more devoted, and ever deeper in our faith. Help us to do this, Lord.
Bless our loved ones; keep them safe. We ask this in Your sacred name, Jesus, amen.
Holy Mother, pray for us.Engagement in trouble. Catholic and Christian prayers and advice greatly appreciated.?
God bless you and take care.
Report Abuse
This sounds more like you waited til you were firmly engaged and THEN showed him the real you...He is right. Sounds like you should be getting individual christian counseling and working on becoming worthy of being a wife, not rushing to get married.
Report Abuse
Meaning: he feels you tricked him into an engagement
Report Abuse
trust is something that must be 're-earned' and it is ok to maybe get a book on learning trust... and dealing with past things. if things that happened were before you and he became involved, finally sharing with him means you trust HIM and so perhaps you can get to that point of telling him how these things have eaten away at you and you trust him with your heart... and you will pray to regain the trust he feels is missing now.
Umm, you don't need prayers, you need to actually work at this.
What do you mean ';graphic images';? Did you actually tell him the sordid details? Never EVER do that unless you KNOW he's not going to freak. Why would you do something that would obviously dig you a deep hole? You can be honest without giving details. Now you've hurt him.
You reap what you sow.
I think counseling is really your best bet, since you can then work with someone who will become familiar with you, your fiancee, and your personal circumstances.
Are there any plans or projects you need to complete as you prepare for your (hopeful) future together? Maybe working on a project together can help you rebuild the trust in your relationship. If not a project for yourselves, perhaps volunteer together somewhere (eg, a Habitat for Humanity house or other good cause).
I do beleive that, if the relationship is basically sound, he will eventually appreciate that, even if it took some time, you DID come clean about your past. Best of luck to both of you.
I hope you, yourself, go to talk with a counselor. If it took you five years to bring this out, it is not because of a lack of trust or lack of openness to your fiancee, but because of the baggage you still carry. You need to deal with it, not just for the sake of getting married, but for your own sake. If you hold this shame and resentment you are injuring yourself. Please, for your own emotional health, talk with a counselor, and even with a therapist if he or she recommends one.
Also, you and your fiancee should talk with a counselor as well. He will learn to forgive and to understand, and you will need his support to deal with the emotional baggage you carry.
I really wish you wouldn't ask this here because there is very little for you on these forums. There is so much more for you both in the presence of a counselor, whether priest or minister or non-religious, to help you both work through this.
Aside from that, pray together often, for one another, in thanksgiving especially.
It appears to me that you are proceeding in about as sound a manner as one might wish. Be there for each other, and let life go on.
I reminded of a bible verse from I Corinthians 13:
Love is patient, Love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.
This is the love God wants us to have toward each other the love he shows toward us. If your finance is a believer show him this verse and then pray for him.
Time
It will take time to heal, He has to understand that its hard for someone to share something they haven't gotten over or healed from, and the sensitivity of it you needed and still need to heal. Its not something he should continue to hold over your head or use when things don't go his way, so take your time, and work on maintaining effective communication. There are a high number of sexual abused people in society and if they all had a dot on the heads the world would be shocked. Congrats on finally being able to open up and accept this and grow on from it, now continue to build you, your relationship and future
He just needs to get over it.
You didn't do anything wrong. Some things we cannot talk about with even the ones we love most. This is completely normal. He (and you) needs to let go of this naive idea that everyone tells their most inner secrets to their significant other. This is a fairy tale. Life is NOT that simple.
Let the past be the past and the future be bright.
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