Advice on getting married in the Catholic faith?

My fiance was baptized Catholic, but grew up attending an Episcopal church. I was baptized Presbyterian. Neither of us have been active in a church community for about a year as we moved to a different state recently. However one of my co-workers, who is Catholic, invited us to his church. I used to attend Mass just because I've always felt drawn to Catholicism, and I came close to signing up for RCIA at one point a few years ago. My fiance and I are discussing the possibility of joining the Catholic faith (well he's already Catholic, but I'm not, and neither of us grew up in the church). We would also love to get married in the Catholic faith. We're going to visit my co-worker's church for the first time on Sunday, and I was going to ask the priest (father? minister?) what is involved with getting married in and joining the church.





However I don't want to seem like we're just joining so we can get married there. We have a real desire to belong to a community of people in organized faith.





Any advice on this whole process? Also, we're living together and have been for quite some time. I read that some churches will not allow you to get married if you're living together unless you live apart for a while before the wedding, or if you agree not to ';share a bed';. Your thoughts on this?





One final thing: if he was baptized Catholic but has never been an active member, and I've never been Catholic, do we both have to go through RCIA together? Or would it be just me?





Thanks for your help! Advice on getting married in the Catholic faith?
I would suggest that you start attending Mass. All people are welcome to attend mass, but you will not be able to receive eucharist until you are in full communion with the church.





As far as your fiance goes, if he was only baptized Catholic, then he will have to attend the RCIA classes with you (that's great that you'll be able to attend together). If he was in full communion (received the sacraments of penance, communion, confirmation) then all he has to do is make a good confession and he's all set. But I think that he would benefit from attending RCIA regardless.





It's ok to talk to the Priest (address him as Father so-and-so) after Mass, but he may not have time if he has another Mass to do right afterwards. It may be best to make an appointment at the parish office to discuss it with him (that way no one is rushed). If you feel uncomfortable about joining Catholicism just to get married in the church....well, I wouldn't worry too much about that. RCIA takes a while to go through the process so you're looking at a wedding date of at least 2 years from now. But again, talk to the Priest about your desires.





As far as living together goes, you will probably be allowed to remain living together, but must commit to living as ';brother and sister';; that is, abstaining until marriage. That situation happened with my brother and his (now) wife. Don't be shy when you talk to the Priest...they've heard it all before.





Good luck in your journey home. Welcome to the Catholic Faith. Advice on getting married in the Catholic faith?
Don't bend over in front of the priest.
I've done just the opposite, myself: going from Cath. to Presby.





Your baptism WILL be accepted as valid in the Cath. Church. Your fiance was baptized Cath. but then moved-on to the Episc. Church, OK. He will be accepted back as a ';fallen-away-type.'; No problem there. I strongly suspect that given your particular circumstances, you'll both need to be Catholic-ized via RCIA.





The Catholic Church has a lot going for it in some ways, but there's no perfect denomination, as I'm sure you've already discovered. Personally, I deplore the ignorance regarding any sort of doctrinal beliefs---my own family included. The same is true in the Protestant denominations, too, but it's like the same thing turned inside-out: everyone simply feels free to just believe their own thing. Both Cath. and Protestant members are grossly illiterate of the bible. (The fundamentalists, on the other hand, are convinced that THEY know what it says FER SHER----because their approach is that memorization is all that's required, no interpretation is even necessary!)





You'll be required to set-up plans for your wedding with the priest several months before the wedding. You won't be able to pull this off in a few weeks. As for living together: he MIGHT ask. If he doesn't, don't tell. If it's an issue with the priest, there are other churches.





To tell you the truth, I'd recommend the Episcopal Church....





God bless you. ----JFM (Presbyterian Church-USA Minister.)
I believe you both have to go through RCIA.


For you:


UNBAPTIZED ADULTS AND CHILDREN OF CATECHETICAL AGE








Period of Evangelization and Precatechumenate


This is a time of no fixed duration or structure. Sessions allow inquirers to ask questions about ';Catholic'; things, to share their stories, build community, and to be introduced to prayer and the Gospel values.





First Step: Rite of Acceptance into the Order of Catechumens


This is a liturgical rite where inquirers declare their intention publicly to the Church and the Church accepts their intent to follow God's call to follow Christ.





Period of Catechumenate


This is an extended period in which the catechumens are given formation and guidance in Catholic teachings. It consists of two parts: Breaking open the Word and Catechesis. This period can last from one year to a few years. Some of the rites for this period may include the dismissal rite, blessings and anointing of catechumens.





Second Step: Rite of Election or Enrollment of Names


The Rite of Election coincides with the beginning of Lent and is celebrated with the Bishop. It is recommended that the Rite of Sending be celebrated at each parish before the Rite of Election. Godparents and catechists testify as to the readiness of the catechumens for the sacraments of initiation.





Period of Purification and Enlightenment


This is a period of more intense spiritual preparation. It is a time of reflection rather than a time of catechetical instruction. The period is intended to enlighten the minds and hearts of the elect with a deeper knowledge of Christ. Rites belonging to this period are the scrutinies, the presentations and the preparation rites on Holy Saturday.





Third Step: Celebrations of the Sacraments of Initiation


The designated time for the celebration of the Sacraments of Initiation is the Easter Vigil, at which the elect are initiated into the Church through baptism, confirmation, and the Eucharist.





Period of Mystogogy


This is a period in which the neophytes, with the community, deepen their sacramental life with emphasis on the gospel, the Eucharist, and works of charity. Post baptismal catechesis is offered to the neophytes that they may deepen their grasp of the paschal mystery.





And for your finace:


BAPTIZED CHRISTIAN ADULTS AND CHILDREN OF CATECHETICAL AGE


BAPTIZED ROMAN CATHOLIC ADULTS








Inquiry


This is a time of no fixed duration or structure. Sessions allow inquirers to ask questions, to share their stories, build community, pray and deepen their understanding of the Gospel values.





Rite of Welcoming the Candidates


This is a liturgical rite that may be celebrated two or three times a year and can also be combined with the Rite of Acceptance for catechumens. The inquirers declare their intention publicly to the Church and the Church accepts their intent to follow God's call to follow Christ.





Catechesis


Preparation for the candidates, for the most part, corresponds to the preparation of catechumens. There is no set time frame for catechesis for the candidates, as a candidate may be received into the church as the team and candidate discern his/her readiness.





Rite of Reception


The reception of candidates should ordinarily take place at the Sunday Eucharist. Candidates who are received into the Church must also be immediately confirmed and receive their first Eucharist.





Mystogogy


This is a period in which the newly received, deepen their sacramental life with emphasis on the gospel, the Eucharist, and works of charity. Post baptismal catechesis is offered to the neophytes that they may deepen their grasp of the paschal mystery.