Catholics, some advice for my friend?

My friend is catholic and is currently going through a divorce. She's kind of torn up inside from everything, he husband had an affair when she was 7 months pregnant.





Now it seems she has found someone that is really good to her and she likes him very much. But she is so afraid of comitting adultery she won't have anything to do with him. Is there anything i can tell her to encourage her or steer her in the right direction?





(The divorce isn't final yet, and they weren't married in the church. I know divorce isn't allowed either)Catholics, some advice for my friend?
if her marriage is truly over, maybe she just needs some time off to grieve. and that is why she is afraid of moving on. she just may need some time!!





as far as the church goes, divorce is allowed. she just can't remarry in the church until the first marriage is annulled. If she does remarry without the church blessing the marriage then she won't be free to recieve the sacraments.





it does get a bit confusing, email me if you have some questions.





and just be patient with your friend... some broken hearts take longer to heal than others.Catholics, some advice for my friend?
Talk to the Priest - adultery especially during pregnancy is grounds for divorce - get the paperwork done annul the marriage and she's free. Gotta do the paperwork. Get her to her Priest.





Very sorry for your friend. Peace.
Well I'm no christian but.... pray to god. There ya go, now all his problems are solved.





Oh look at that, some maniac busted into my appartment with a machene gun. Luckily I can exit to safety from my window. Nah, I'll just PRAY!
it says in the Bible that divorce isn't good and that their should be no divorce (of course thats not going to happen). i would tell them to pray together and TALK to each other and to a paster.
If she was not married in the church, the Catholic Church will not recognize her marriage as valid. Keep in mind; the Catholic Church also does not allow pre-marital sex.
That is why religion is so asinine.





If she could only look at the buy-bull logically.





All you can do is support her and help her to realize that what any God would want is for her to be happy.
If a man serves his wife with papers of divorce and she finds another man, the act of adultery falls on his (the husbands) shoulders.
If your friend wasn't married in the Church she should speak with her priest about it.
Don't tell her that I was her husband's boyfriend, ok?


I dumped him because he's such a jerk
1. My ';sister'; is Catholic. Her first husband got into drugs, turned into a creep and left her to run off to Los Angeles with some hooker. So she filed for divorce and annulment with the Catholic Church.





2. She also met a good man she cared for and they were married last year and are lovely together.





3. Divorce IS allowed if the circumstances warrent it. Divorce is a legal term and the Church uses annulment. If she wasn't married under Catholic Law then I don't think she needs an annulment but you might want to check that detail.





4. She needs to get the divorce and annulment and then wait the appropriate amount of time and get on with her life and any new relationships she wants to persue. My ';sister'; is so happy and your friend will get there too, one day.





5. Remember, the annulment is only important if she wants to get married in the Catholic Church again one day. They charge an insane amount of money for it (about 8k for my ';sister';). If she doesn't think she needs to get married in the Catholic church again then a simple legal divorce should cover her bases.





Edited to say: ';Oh!...no. Sorry. I put ';sister'; because technically we are not related by blood. We were both born in the same hospital room overseas, our parents were in the military and we grew up together and are very close. I wasn't trying to imply you were asking about yourself....sorry if it read that way. I just didn't want to misrepresent myself as having a sister when I do not. For the record, she is Catholic and a wonderful lady and got through it. I just wanted you to have a happy story to share with your friend that would make her feel like she isn't the only one who has been through this.
She can be friends with this new guy, no problem. But I think kissing, petting, and beyond needs to wait till BOTH a) the divorce is finalized AND b) she's married this new guy.








Frankly, I think divorce is the best option if there's any kind of abuse or mistreatment or if there's any kind of unfaithfulness.





My feeling is....


This husband has broken his wedding vows to his wife by having an affair. He will be held accountable for his wife's and his children's broken hearts.





As of yet, this wife hasn't broken her vows, and she will be blessed for keeping those vows, no matter what her husband has done.





If those vows are terminated (whatever terminology is used), then both are freed from the requirements of those vows. He is free to do what/whom he chooses. She is also no longer required to be faithful to him.











As far as her spirituality and her relationship with the Catholic church- she probably needs to talk with a/her priest about it. She needs to make sure she explains that they weren't married in the church, and that he's been unfaithful.





Good luck with everything. She'll need hugs--





*hug to pass on*
If your friend wasn't married in the RCC the marriage itself might have not been seen as lawful in the churches eyes. She really should approach a priest to discuss the situation if that is the case.





If she was married in a Protestant Church than that's a different story-- the RCC sees it as a lawful marriage. An annulment isn't just a ';catholic divorce'; in order for it to have grounds a spouse had to be committing some unlawful activity (such as adultery) before the marriage; depends on the situation. So the case may be that the church doesn't see it fit to grand her an annulment.





I don't mean to be rude, but if she wasn't married in the Catholic Church-- why does she care if she commits ';adultery'; now? Or is this some recent religious conversion?





I wish her the best and hope she can be with this new man.
I'm glad she has a good friend like you.





Where the Church is concerned, she's probably aware of its teaching on sex outside of marriage -- which applies to single or divorced people, of course -- but unless sex itself is already the make-or-break deal for her potential new relationship, I'd tell her to do two things: 1) be patient, get to know this nice guy and enjoy his company on other-than-intimate terms; and 2) definitely get some counsel from a good priest about the possibility of her marriage being annuled.





Adultery by itself isn't considered grounds for granting a petition of annulment, nor is being married outside the Church, but if he slept around when she was pregnant that's a clue that he may not have taken his marriage vows seriously (to say the least) to the point of not intending to keep them the moment the words were out of his mouth. Whether or not her husband was also baptized (trinitarian) is a factor, too.





I'm no canon lawyer but there's potential here for finding nullity -- that the marriage was invalid from the beginning. She needs to talk with someone who can evaluate her particular situation and is in a position to give her sound advice on this, and that's either a parish priest or someone in her diocesan offices.





Here's some more basic info. http://www.osv.com/OSV4MeNav/MyCatholicF鈥?/a>





http://www.ewtn.com/expert/answers/annul鈥?/a>





I do know that the process of seeking an annulment can't begin until the divorce in question is final. And as far as what it costs -- yes, there is a fee (funny how some people think nothing of shelling out thousands to a lawyer for a civil divorce, yet balk at this!) but people who truly can't afford the fee aren't told they can't petition for annulment.