anyways, she just called me and told my that she had sex with her boyfriend and that she's really disappointed in herself b/c she gave her self away and it just doesn't feel right. she says that she loves the guy (i am pretty sure that they are in love, although i don't really think that it's going to last long term, like marriage wise) and that she wanted to give everything to him, but now she feels like **** and she's really disappointed. she absolutely hates having sex with him (they've done it afew times) b/c it seems so shallow b/c he could just be doing it with anyone and she's given something up that she can never get back.
she's looking for advice on! and i don't know what to say! i'm really disappointed in her and i'm mad at the guy b/c he shouldn't have been a DUMB@SS and he should have known that she would not be happy about having sex with him!! ARG! i ******* hate him for that!
he's not religious and she's kind of fallen away from the Faith : (
please pray for them!
please, i'm sure that anything advice will help : (
thanks, God blessPlease! I really need help on giving advice!!!!!! (Catholic)
Poor dear. I think you know what you have to tell her: she has to stop having sex with this boy. If it's making her this unhappy and uncomfortable with herself, she must stop. I'm guessing she's probably scared of letting go of the relationship, though. But I think you should remind her that there is someone that she has a much more powerful relationship with, and He probably wants to hear from her in confession and prayer. I think confession is a really great guilt-lifter. It would do wonders for her to feel forgiven and given a fresh start.
Worst case scenario: if she tells her boyfriend she wants to stop having sex, and if he dumps her for it, it's your job to tell her he's not worth it, and to help her feel better about herself.Please! I really need help on giving advice!!!!!! (Catholic)
get her the book ';captivating'; by stacy eldridge it will help her to se who she is as a woman and why God has made her the way she is. it will also help to restore her to a proper relationship with God.
all the women i know who've read it always say they cried every chapter they read
The only thing that you can do is pray and encourage her to come back to Jesus and ask for forgiveness. When we sin, it pulls us away from God and His perfect destiny for our lives. She needs to think more of herself and less of any guy. She is special to Jesus and she needs to see herself in this way.
tell her that we all make mistakes, but God is always here eager to forgive. Tell her to go to confession and recieve Holy Communion regularly. research the ';theology of the body'; online and share it with her.
Lol..he didn't do it on his own, she's done it more than once so she had sex because she wanted to. It's none of your business if she has ''fallen away from faith,'' you might be her friend but it's her life.
I'm praying for them.
You should tell her to first, stop having sex because she doesn't like it. If she lets him have sex with her and she doesn't feel good (emotionally or physically), that is ABUSE.
He'll probably dump her once the sex isn't possible any more. Then you can be a good friend to her and help her through.
Anyway, once she stops having sex, she should go to confession, because being forgiven will help her with her self-esteem a lot. And then she needs the counsel of an adult woman on how to avoid sex with boyfriends in the future.
Giving advice doesn't really work, because very few people actually take it.
A better tactic would be to steer her toward asking herself the hard questions. Then you can act as a sounding board for her ideas about what she's thinking and feeling. Just keep asking her questions about what she wants out of life, what kind of man she's looking for, what does she think love means, etc. This will help her form her own ideas and inform her decisions. It always works better than just telling someone what to do.
It's great that she has you as a friend -- I'm sensing that you care about her more than she knows...
Really, what other advice can you give her besides the fact that she's made her own mistakes and now has to live with them.
There is no changing it. She's just going to have to eventually put it past her mentally/emotionally. Really there isn't any reason to you hate him for it, you aren't a part of it and to believe that ';he should have known'; is to suggest that she's just a dumb woman who doesn't know and can't make her own decisions. While a percent of individuals may be...women in general are not inherently naive, nor helpless victims of naughty boys. Unless she was abused, she was a full half of the decision to jump into that.
She's got a brain. She could have looked ahead and thought more about what her actions might do. But it's something she's got to deal with on her own now.
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